Slayer Moon
by Shira
Summary: Ever have a really scary dream? Well, here's one of mine...


Note to the wary: If you have a weak stomach, don't read this... it could get nasty... and scary... -Shira  
  
Disclaimer notice: I don't own Slayers or Sailor Moon, or any other anime, although I wish I did, then I'd have more romance scenes with Zel and Amelia, but! Oh, well... hopeless romantic me, ne?  
  
P.S. There won't be much romance in this one *sniff* But it should be funny to some of you, and scary to others ^_^  
  
P.P.S. This came to me in a dream...! That just lets you know how waacky my dreams are...  
  
Slayer Moon and her Slayer Scouts  
  
Lina~ Slayer Moon  
Martina~ Slayer Jupiter  
Sylphiel~ Slayer Venus  
Filia~ Slayer Mars  
Zelgadis~ Slayer Mercury  
Amelia~ Slayer Chibi Moon  
Gourry~ Tuxedo no Ken [for dubbies, that means Sword of the Tuxedo... *shrug*]  
Zangulus~ Devil King Zangulus  
Vrumagun~ Evil Guy Vrumagun  
(It's scary already...*shudder*)  
  
Lina: Oi, Gourry! That's my food! Gimme!  
  
Gourry: No way! You got the last one, so this one's mine!  
  
Lina: Oi! No it's not! Haven't you ever heard of ladies first?  
  
Gourry: You're not a lady!  
  
Amelia: Will you two stop?  
  
Filia: Dear me... at least I don't have to pay for all this...  
  
Amelia: You might not, but I do!  
  
Lina: Gimme! It's mine!   
  
Martina: *lovey-dovey-eyed* I wonder where Zangulus-sama is...  
  
Sylphiel: *sweatdrop*  
  
Zel: *sips coffee* ...  
  
Lina: Grr! Give me that!!!  
  
Gourry: NEVER!  
  
Zel: ...  
  
Eventually, Lina ends up with the last whatever it is they're fighting for, and they all sit down calmy and talk. Just as they start getting into interesting topics, like gold and just getting done killing the evil people, someone walks in the door, and heads straight for their table.  
  
Person: Greetings, Lina Inverse. Gourry.  
  
Lina: Huuuh? Zangulus? What are you doing here?  
  
Zangulus: I've come to tell you that I am no longer Zangulus!  
  
Lina: Nani? What do you mean you're no longer Zangulus?!?  
  
Martina: Zangulus-sama! What are you talking about?  
  
Sylphiel: I sense a strange evil aura around Zangulus-san...  
  
Filia: Who is this man?  
  
Zel: *sips* ...  
  
Zangulus: Exactly! As you have probably guessed, I am not Zangulus, the swordsman! I am now, DEVIL KING ZANGULUS!  
  
Martina: *gasp* Oh, no! Not Devil King Zangulus!  
  
Sylphiel: Whatever shall we do?  
  
Filia: Eek! The Devil King?  
  
Gourry: Who? What? Huh? Uh...  
  
Lina: *glare* Devil King Zangulus...  
  
Zel: *arches eyebrow* Devil King?  
  
Devil King Zangulus: That's right! I am now DEVIL KING ZANGULUS!  
  
Martina: Devil King Zangulus? No!  
  
Sylphiel: What a horrible, horrible person!  
  
Filia: Devil King!? Oh, no!  
  
Amelia: Devil King? I'm scared!  
  
Gourry: *blank look* Huh? What? Who? Uh...  
  
Lina: Devil King Zangulus... *glare*  
  
Zel: *sip* Devil King?  
  
Devil King Zangulus: YES! I AM THE DEVIL KING ZANGULUS!  
  
Martina: Devil King! Scarry!  
  
Sylphiel: How awful!  
  
Lina: CAN WE STOP THIS!?  
  
Devil King Zangulus: Anyway... I've come to talk to Gourry...   
  
Gourry: Huh? *stands up* Okay, what do you want to talk about?  
  
Devil King Zangulus: *draws sword* FIGHT ME!  
  
Gourry: Huuh? Again? *shrug* Oh, well... *draws sword*  
  
Then, another shadowy figure appears out of nowhere, and stands between Devil King Zangulus and Gourry.  
  
Shadowy Figure: Stop this meaningless fight!  
  
Devil King Zangulus: Step aside, Vrumagun!  
  
Lina: Vrumagun?  
  
Vrumagun: Yes, it is I, Vrumagun! But! I am no longer Vrumagun!  
  
Filia: You're not?  
  
Sylphiel: No?  
  
Martina: You aren't?  
  
Vrumagun: No! I am now EVIL GUY VRUMAGUN!  
  
Martina: *gasp* Evil Guy Vrumagun? Oh, no!  
  
Sylphiel: Noo! Not Evil Guy Vrumagun!  
  
Filia: Evil Guy Vrumagun! It's you!  
  
Gourry: Uh... huh?  
  
Amelia: You are evil! I will have to vanquish you! *pose*  
  
Lina: Evil Guy Vrumagun... *glare*  
  
Zel: *sidelong glance* ... *sip*  
  
Evil Guy Vrumagun: YES! I am... bum bum bum...EVIL GUY VRUMAGUN!  
  
Martina: *gasp* Evil Guy Vrumagun?  
  
Devil King Zangulus: Now let's not start this again! Evil Guy Vrumagun, why did you interfere?  
  
Evil Guy Vrumagun: Because, fighting him will not kill Lina Inverse. We must kidnap him and hold him hostage to get Lina to come to your secret laboratory near the Mountain of Tears, and then we can kill everyone!  
  
Devil King Zangulus: Oh! I see!  
  
Evil Guy Vrumagun: I will do the kidnapping, you do the killing!  
  
Devil King Zangulus: Okay!  
  
Amelia: *pose* You two are both evil, and are plotting to do evil things! We are burning allies of justice with-- No, wait... that's not right.. We are jusitces of allies, and we-- No... that's not it either...  
  
Martina: Zangulus-sama! How could you? I loved you! We were married under Zoamelgustar!  
  
Devil King Zangulus: I have sold my soul to evil! I am now DEVIL KING ZANGULUS!  
  
Amelia: You sold your soul to evil? I cannot forgive you! In the name of hammer, I will crush you with the justice of justice! Wait! That's not it...  
  
Zel: *sigh* ... *sip*  
  
Lina: How dare you plot to kill me right in front of us!  
  
Gourry: Huh? What the--? I don't get it...  
  
Filia: Oh, Zelgadis-san, your coffee cup is so cute!  
  
Evil Guy Vrumagun: YES! We will kidnap him now! And then we will to go our secret hide out! Good-bye, Lina Inverse! *snaps fingers, and he, Gourry, and Devil King Zangulus disappear*  
  
Lina: GOURRY! NOOO!   
  
Amelia: He stole Gourry-san! That is unforgivable!  
  
Martina: My heart has been broken! *sniffle* I will never love again!  
  
Xelloss: *appears* Hello, Martina-san!  
  
Martina: Xelloss-sama! I don't care if you're a mazoku! I love you!  
  
Xelloss: *sweatdrop* I take that as my cue to be gone now... *disappears*  
  
Filia: NAMAGOMI! He ran off again!  
  
Sylphiel: But, Lina-san! I read that Xelloss-san died in one of Shira's other stories!  
  
Lina: *shrug* Yeah... but you were going to die, too, until she changed her mind.  
  
Sylphiel: Oh...  
  
Zel: Well, I think it's agreed that we must go after Gourry and defeat Devil King Zangulus and Evil Guy Vrumagun.  
  
Amelia: Exactly, Zelgadis-san! We will go, as allies of evil, and crush the justice! Oh, I mean... uh... we will go as evil of justice and crush the allies! Um... no... uh...  
  
Lina: Gourry! We have to save him! Let's teleport to that asteroid! *points at ceiling* Oh, er, um... let's teleport to the Mountain of Tears! We'll use our morphing power to power up the teleportation!  
  
Martina: Yes! of course!  
  
Sylphiel: Brillitan, Lina-san!  
  
Zelgadis: Morph?  
  
Lina: Dragon Slave Power-- MAKE UP! *transforms into Slayer Moon*  
  
Amelia: Justice Power-- MAKE UP! *transforms into Slayer Chibi Moon*  
  
Martina: Zoamelgustar Power-- MAKE UP! *transforms into Slayer Jupiter*  
  
Filia: Dragon Power-- MAKE UP! *transforms into Slayer Mars*  
  
Sylphiel: Shrine Maiden Power-- MAKE UP! *transforms into Slayer Venus*  
  
Everyone: *looks to Zelgadis* Hurry up!  
  
Zelgadis: *blush* I won't do it! *crosses arms*  
  
Lina: Come on! We need you!  
  
Zelgadis: I refuse! You can't make me!  
  
Lina: *evil grin* No, but I know someone who can! Hey, writer! Some help here!  
  
(He has to play the part... ^_^)  
  
Zelgadis: *magically in his Slayer fuku* What the-- I can't wear this! *tugs at the extremely short skirt*  
  
Amelia: Slayer Mercury, we can't do this without you!  
  
Martina: We need you!  
  
Zelgadis: My life is a game, isn't it, Slayer Moon? You love playing with my life...  
  
Lina: Well... yeah!  
  
Sylphiel: Hurry! We must teleport and save Gourry dear!  
  
Lina: Right! Everyone, make a circle! That includes you, Slayer Mercury!  
  
Zelgadis: *grumble grumble* *joins circle*  
  
Everyone stands in a circle, holding hands, Slayer Mercury blushing furiously, and they all look up at the sky.  
  
Lina: Slayer--  
  
Everyone: TELEPORT!  
  
There's a fwoosh, and then there is no sign of them at the restaurant. They appear again in outer space, heading for an asteroid.  
  
Lina: Nani? We didn't want to come to the asteroid!  
  
Fiore: Welcome, Slayer Moon! I cannot allow you to have Gourry back!  
  
Amelia: Um... Fiore-san... you have the wrong story... we messed up...  
  
Fiore: Huh?  
  
Martina: We weren't supposed to end up in space...   
  
Sylphiel: We were heading for the Mountain of Tears...  
  
Fiore: Where's the Mountain of Tears?  
  
Amelia: It's in the Slayers world... like we said, wrong story... bye, now...  
  
Lina: Slayer--  
  
Everyone: TELEPORT!  
  
Fiore stares for a while at where the Slayer Scouts used to be, then shrugs, and goes back to his asteroid. The Slayer Scouts appear again at the Mountain of Tears.  
  
Zelgadis: Cold, cold, cold... *teeth chattering* How can you girls not be cold?  
  
Martina: Slayer Scouts don't get cold, even in these skimpy skirts, don't you know that?  
  
Sylphiel: Exactly! If Slayer Scouts got cold in these getups, then when we had to defeat Princess Snow Kaguya, we would've turned blue!  
  
Zelgadis: *glare* Is that supposed to be a joke?  
  
Amelia: Huh? *remembers Zel's blue skin* Oh, no! That wasn't a joke, Slayer Mercury!  
  
Sylphiel: No, it wasn't!  
  
Lina: Wait! *looks around* We have to find Devil King Zangulus and Evil Guy Vrumagun's secret hideout!  
  
Everyone looks around, every one of them passing by the elaborately colored sign pointing to the side that said, 'Secret Hideout, This Way.' And then, right in eyes view, there is a large red building with bright lights, but somehow, that, too, is overlooked.  
  
Amelia: Oh! Where could it be? We have to save Gourry-san!  
  
Sylphiel: Gourry, dear!  
  
Lina: Slayer Mars! Use your telepathic ability to find the secret hideout!  
  
Filia: Right! *closes eyes and folds her hands* Ouuummmm... Ouuuuummmm.... *eyes hoot open* That way! *points towards the bright building*  
  
Zelgadis: But where is it?  
  
Amelia: I don't know!  
  
Martina: Everything looks the same!  
  
Lina: Well, we'll just have to head in that direction until we see it!  
  
Filia: Slayer Moon is right!  
  
Amelia: Yes! We must save Gourry from the evil of clutches! Oh, I mean, um, the clutches of evil...  
  
Lina: Onward!   
  
Everyone starts walking through the snow. When they are about one foot away from the building...  
  
Zelgadis: Oi, Slayer Moon, do you think this could be it?  
  
Lina: Hmm.. could be... let's check it out!  
  
Filia: Slayer Moon! Be careful! I sense a great evil coming from that place!  
  
Amelia: Yeah, me too!  
  
Sylphiel: Me, too. Be on your guard, Slayer Moon!  
  
Lina: Thanks for the tip, you guys. Let's go!  
  
Slayer Moon pulls on the yellow handle of the red door, even though a sign clearly says, "Push."   
  
Lina: I can't open it!  
  
Zelgadis: I'll take care of it! *attack position* My Life Is Worthless Elmekia Lance!  
  
Slayer Mercury's spell bursts the door into pieces.  
  
Everyone: *clap clap* Way to go, Slayer Mercury!  
  
Zelgadis: *shiver* Let's just get inside, it's cold!  
  
Martina: You aren't a true Slayer Scout! True Slayer Scouts don't get cold in their Slayer fuku!  
  
Amelia: You should get in touch with your inner feminine self, Slayer Mercury!  
  
Zelgadis: yeah, but unlike you, I'M NOT A GIRL!!!!! AND I'M NOT FEMININE!!!  
  
Sylphiel: Oh, yeah... I forgot for a little while there!  
  
Lina: Nevermind! We have to go save Gourry!   
  
Amelia: Yes! With love and justice in our hearts, and can do nothing! I mean, anything, yeah...  
  
Everyone runs in through the open doorway, and hurries down a long hallway, looking left and right every two seconds for a door. At the end of the hallway, there is a bright light.  
  
Lina: Everyone! Head for the light!  
  
Everyone runs to the light, Slayer Mercury making sure to take small steps so his skirt doesn't flare up too much. They reach the light, and find themselves in a huge room. In the middle of the room is a see-through box, with Gourry in it.  
  
Lina: Gourry!  
  
Sylphiel: Gourry dear!   
  
Amelia: Gourry-san!  
  
Martina: Gourry!  
  
Filia: Gourry-san!  
  
Zelgadis: Gourry!  
  
Voice: Is there an echo in here?  
  
Voice: Is there an echo in here?  
  
Voice: I guess there is!  
  
Voice: I guess there is!  
  
A shadowy figure steps out from the shadows.  
  
Lina: Who are you?  
  
Shadowy Figure: You know me, Slayer Moon. I am-- DEVIL KING ZANGULUS!  
  
Everyone: No! Not Devil King Zangulus!  
  
Another shadowy figure steps out from the shadows.  
  
Lina: Who are you?  
  
Shadowy Figure: You know me, Slayer Moon. I am-- EVIL GUY VRUMAGUN!  
  
Everyone: No! Not Evil Guy Vrumagun!  
  
Devil King Zangulus: Muahahahaha! If you want Gourry back, you must kill us!  
  
Evil Guy Vrumagun: Yes... you must kill us!  
  
Gourry: Um... *jumps out of box, since there is no lid* What's going on?  
  
Lina: We have to fight these guys in order to save you!  
  
Gourry: Oh! In that case... Sword of Light Power-- MAKE UP! *transforms into Tuxedo no Ken*  
  
Everyone: Tuxedo no Ken!  
  
Evil Guy Vrumagun: Who are you?  
  
Gourry: I am-- TUXEDO NO KEN!   
  
Devil King Zangulus: Ha! Even you, Tuxedo no Ken! Cannot defeat us! And after we kill all of you, we will kill Gourry as well.  
  
Amelia: You will pay for taking Gourry-san hostage! But now that Tuxedo no Ken is here, we can save Gourry-san!  
  
Evil Guy Vrumagun: Not likely.  
  
Amelia: Oh, yeah? *attack position* Hammer of Justice Sugar Attack!  
  
Evil Guy Vrumagun dodges the attack, just barely missing getting hit.  
  
Martina: I will show you power! *attack position* My Poor Broken Heart Shock!  
  
Evil Guy Vrumagun: What the-- *blows up* No! I'm dead? I can't be dead! I'm the bad guy!  
  
Lina: Sorry... you're dead.  
  
Evil Guy Vrumagun: Oh, well... *dies*  
  
Lina: *faces Devil King Zangulus* Now, give Gourry back!  
  
Devil King Zangulus: Not likely!  
  
Sylphiel: I will defeat you! *attack position* Flare Carrot Love Attack!  
  
Devil King Zangulus is hit with the attack, and he laughs.   
  
Devil King Zangulus: That merely tickled!  
  
Sylphiel: Oh, dear...  
  
Filia: You're going down! *attack position* I Hate Namagomi Fire Bolt!  
  
Devil King Zangulus avoids the attack, and laughs again.   
  
Devil King Zangulus: Totally ineffective!   
  
Lina: Well, now it's my turn! *attack position* Ragna Blade of Loving Hearts!  
  
Devil King Zangulus is hit with the spell, and he screams.   
  
Devil King Zangulus: NOOOO!!! I can't die yet! *fades away into nothingness*  
  
Lina: *v-sign* Victory!  
  
Tuxedo no Ken: Now we can save Gourry, right?  
  
Zelgadis: Right.  
  
Voice: Wrong!  
  
Amelia: Who is it?  
  
Filia: Where are you?  
  
Martina: Show yourself!  
  
Sylphiel: Come out, coward!  
  
Lina: Yeah, come out so we can kill you!  
  
Devil King Zangulus comes out from the see-through box where Gourry had been kept.   
  
Devil King Zangulus: Mwahahahahahahahaha!  
  
Lina: We didn't kill him?  
  
Sylphiel: It didn't work?  
  
Martina: How can that be?  
  
Filia: You hit him, though!  
  
Amelia: How did he survive?  
  
Zelgadis: Why didn't it work? Slayer Moon's most powerful attack...  
  
Tuxedo no Ken: Huuuhh??  
  
Devil King Zangulus: Easy. Like a lizard drops its tail to escape, I left part of me here, and my main body escaped to subspace. If you had hit me full-on, even I might not have survived it.  
  
Lina: Hmm... now where does that line sound familiar...?  
  
Sylphiel: Didn't Hellmaster say something like that just after we tried the double Dragon Slave attack?  
  
Lina: Double... Sylphiel! You just gave me a great idea!  
  
Sylphiel: *blink* I did?  
  
Devil King Zangulus: Ha! No matter what you try, you will not defeat me!  
  
Lina: Don't be so sure! *puts her hands to her brooch, and a crystal pops out into her hands* With this crystal-- *holds up crystal* --I can defeat you!  
  
Devil King Zangulus: No! Is that the... It can't be the...  
  
Martina: Slayer Moon! Don't use it! You'll die!  
  
Sylphiel: You can't use that!   
  
Amelia: Slayer Moon! No!  
  
Filia: You're going to die if you use it, Slayer Moon!  
  
Zelgadis: Don't use it, Slayer Moon!  
  
Tuxedo no Ken: I don't think I'm needed... *changes back into Gourry and climbs back into the see-through box*  
  
Lina: I will save you, Gourry! I WILL SAVE YOU!  
  
Zelgadis: Everyone! We can use the power of the crystal together, and defeat the evil as allies of justice!  
  
Amelia: No fair! That's my line, Slayer Mercury!  
  
Zelgadis: Yeah, but you kept getting it wrong!  
  
Sylphiel: You really should study the script more, Slayer Chibi Moon.  
  
Amelia: But-but...  
  
Filia: No time for buts! We have to help Slayer Moon!  
  
Everyone surrounds Slayer Moon, and holds hands.   
  
Lina: With the power from this crystal, I can kill you, Devil King Zangulus!  
  
Devil King Zangulus: NOO!!! It's the IMPERIAL GIGA SLAVE CRYSTAL!!!  
  
Lina: That's right! I will save everyone! *cries* I WILL SAVE GOURRY!!  
  
Everyone: *attack positions while holding hands*  
  
Lina: GIGA SLAVE--  
  
Everyone: POWER!!!!!  
  
A beam of black light comes out of the Imperial Giga Slave Crystal, and surrounds Devil King Zangulus. Devil King Zangulus starts laughing.  
  
Devil King Zangulus: hehe... stop it! That tickles!  
  
Lina: No! We don't have enough power!  
  
Voice: OHOHOHOHOHO! Slayer Moon, you need my help again?  
  
Lina: That voice!  
  
Amelia: Can it be?  
  
Zelgadis: It has to be...  
  
Filia: No one esle has a laugh like that!  
  
Martina: I have to learn that laugh...  
  
Sylphiel: Is it..  
  
A shadowy figure steps into the room.  
  
Shadowy Figure: It is I, Slayer Pluto!   
  
Lina: Slayer Pluto! Hurry! We need your help!  
  
Naga: OHOHOHOHO! You always need my help, Slayer Moon. *walks over and joins the circle*   
  
Lina: *glares at Devil King Zangulus* Now that we have Slayer Pluto with us, we can destroy you!  
  
Devil King Zangulus: Ha! I'm sacred now! hahahaha!  
  
Lina: GIGA SLAVE--  
  
Everyone: POWER!!  
  
The black light stuff surrounds Devil King Zangulus again, and he starts screaming.  
  
Devil King Zangulus: NOOO!!! I can't die! I CAN'T DIE!!! *dies*  
  
Lina: *falls to her knees* That took a lot out of me...  
  
Note: Everyone has white hair now from exherting themselves so much.  
  
Sylphiel: Gourry dear!  
  
Lina: Right! Gourry! *runs over, and Gourry jumps out of the box*  
  
Everyone: Gourry! *all hug Gourry*  
  
Zelgadis: Everyone, we have to get out of here!  
  
Lina: Right!  
  
Filia: Let's teleport to that asteroid!  
  
Amelia: Um... do we want to go to the asteroid?  
  
Sylphiel: I don't think so...  
  
Martina: Let's go back to the restaurant...  
  
Gourry: yeah! I need some food!  
  
Everyone agrees to go to the restaurant, not the asteroid, and they hold hands in a circle again.  
  
Lina: SLAYER--  
  
Everyone: TELEPORT!!  
  
They disappear, and then the secret base collapses. They reappear back at the diner, and they all sit down.  
  
Zelgadis: Can we get out of these ridiculous costumes yet?  
  
Amelia: Oh, right!  
  
Filia: We shouldn't be seen in our Slayer fuku!  
  
Everyone transforms back into their normal selves.  
  
Sylphiel: Lina-san... where did Tuxedo no Ken go off to?  
  
Lina: *shrug* Dunno...  
  
Gourry: I don't remember anything about what happened...  
  
Martina: They must have put sleeping gas into that box you were in, Gourry...  
  
Filia: Either that, or you were brainwashed!  
  
Everyone: *sweatdrop*   
  
Lina: I don't think he was brainwashed...  
  
Amelia: Zelgadis-san! I forgot to tell you! You look VERY cute in your Sailor fuku!  
  
Filia: Yes! And you were acting like a true Slayer Scout by the end of the mission.  
  
Martina: I totally agree!  
  
Sylphiel: You will make a wonderful Slayer Scout some day...  
  
Zelgadis: *blush* My life is worthless... *sip* 


End file.
